Editing PERSONAL NOTES:Freedom (section)

===Year of the Sun 1236 Fidelity 25===
I have been on my own now for five days. It is the first time in my life I have been completely alone. The desert is so quiet at night without the breath of companions as they sleep. I can hear the scurry of little feet as the creatures of the desert night find pray. Even in the last years in Haven when I was cut loose of the Chapel I was not this alone. There was always somewhere to be at night, someone to entertain. Then of course there was the time with Zafar. I knew no peace then.

And now I look across my fire and see nothing but empty space where always there had been a familiar face. Even if those faces brought no comfort they brought presence and filled the void of an empty night. My companions now are the night skies and those feet I hear scurry in the distance. This emptiness brings a peace with it even though it is shadowed with disquiet. 

When I was a child I never thought I would want to be alone. My only thoughts were of my family and doing my part within my family. Now I know I will be alone for most of my life. Mine is not a life to be shared with anyone. In many ways it is appropriate that I find myself in the desert now.

When I close my eyes the dreams take me sometimes. Thankfully they are still the peaceful ones that I had after beginning my training with Master Laughing Crane. I wish the skies were truly filled with stars as they in my dreams. I don’t think the night would seem so lonely then. I would be surrounded my siblings.