PERSONAL NOTES:A Shepard...

<accesscontrol>Baelwren</accesscontrol>

A Shepard...

Year of the Sun 1272 Steel 30

These last 22 years in Ferrodyne have been magical. Especially these last few with Darion. He has mastered Samadhi and has begun to learn more about his power. He is more accepting of himself now. It brightens my days to know I have helped him.

I had my old dream last night. Yet again I was standing beneath a star filled sky with the desert sands spread out before. My power was that warm comfort surrounding me in vary colored light.

When I woke this morning I found out one of the children came into power. One of the clerics suppressed him. I will leave in the morning to take the child toward Haven. I suppose it is long past time that I become a Shepard.

Darion has asked to travel with me. I agreed. It is good to have the children as protected as possible.

Year of the Sun 1272 Chance 4

Darion, Lendin and I are aboard ship headed for Wild’s Reef. I have begun training Lendin. Our parting from Ferrodyne went very smooth considering why we left. The family involved took it in stride and no one seemed surprised by my offer to get assistance for him. Skorowvar was teary-eyed at our parting and told me he knew there was something special about me. I told them I would miss them all and would send word when we got where we were going.

Year of the Sun 1272 Spindle 27

It has taken longer than anticipated but I have arrived in Hotempa. I have three additional children. Darion and I will take them to an oasis not far from Haven to be escorted the final steps of the journey. I manage to get them all here alive and well. It gives me joy to know I did a better job than the people who brought me across the desert.

After this group is collected from me I plan to go to Mt. Daneasus for a time while I wait to be needed again. The Compass knows where to find me now and will call me when they have need of me.

Year of the Sun 1273 Freedom 5

Darion and I have reached Mt. Daneasus. This is a magnificent place. The architecture of the Dwarves is a thing of beauty. It amazes me that such surly little men can create such wondrous designs.

And the Power here almost sweeps me away like an ocean wave. The residue of the Power used to remove the temple and the warring strength of the ley lines here is overwhelming. I have previously stayed away from the places with ley lines. I was afraid of what I would feel. Actually, I was more afraid that I wouldn’t feel anything. I have yet to find my complete strength and Power but I didn’t want to learn that it is so little that I felt nothing more than an average person would feel here. Darion has grown in his ability but he is only vaguely aware of the Power here.

Year of the Sun 1273 Freedom 12

I dream. As I have never dreamt before. The currents here awaken my own Power. Almost, it seems as though I can see it when I am waking, but then it is gone like a shadow in the corner of your eye. But it is heavy upon me. I walk with it every night under the desert sky. Stars. I didn’t think it was possible to have more stars in my dream sky but here there is. Almost as if the Gods of old are trying to reach back to earth here.

I wonder if what I am seeing is what really was. What I see in my minds eye is such stark beauty. A velvet sky filled with points of light. As I dream I reach toward them sometimes. As always the sands stretch before me. A place out of time. There is nothing else in the world but those stars and my Power. It is a delicate and strong all at once. My Power is me. (Again the page is covered in what looks like twinkling stars.)

Year of the Sun 1273 Chance 18

There has been a lot of extra activity around here. The church has been working on a training ground for undead slayers and the like and it is getting ready to open. They are in the last stages of stocking the place now.

It has made me a little uneasy to know that so many paladins and clerics are near. They are further down the mountain but close enough to get here quickly in the event of a rogue sorcerer being found. It is frustrating. There are so many theories I would like to test but am afraid of risking exposure.

Darion is greatly entertained by my frustrations. But very sweet all the same. He is always ready to defend me. He forgets I can handle myself fairly well. But it is nice to know he is there for me if something happens. Because of the training ground there have been young eager disciples coming around. They want to see what all the fuss is about a whole in the ground. They are seldom impressed.

Year of the Sun 1273 Bounty 19

I managed to get us invited to a Harvest Day feast. I have promised the wonders of my voice in exchange for some companionship. It will be interesting to see how this goes. There will be a lot of young paladins there. They are going to be beginning there education at the training ground soon. I have heard it referred to by some young men as the Zoo. Imagine such an original name for a compound filled with a variety of species in cages. I suppose it is very fitting however, even if they do house the creatures that refuse to leave this earth.

Year of the Sun 1273 Bounty 20

The feast went well. There was a touchy moment when a young man got a little to pushy about his advances. Darion quickly set him in his place but it caused a little commotion. He actually said “Unhand my wife”. I could have strangled him for that. I don’t care if it seemed like the most expeditious way to get the young man to let me go.

Aside from that it was nice to see the fresh faces of the young getting ready to head for their futures. Even if many present were going to professions that would hunt me. I wished them all luck and the best of happiness in their chosen futures. That irritated Darion as well. He doesn’t have as forgiving a nature as I do it would seem.

Year of the Sun 1274 Steel 12

I was at one of the shrines along the rim today and saw an interesting occurrence. There was a small family there. The sun was just rising and the world glowed as if it were on fire. As I watched the sun crest over the mountains peak the child with the family placed a single Siorraidh on the shrine. It was a little boy about twelve years old, human. The sun crested and the eternal flowerer came to its resting place in conjunction with a surge of Power. I felt the Power flow out from the child.

There was a look of shock and wonder on the faces of the parents. But not surprise. They contained him. As I am now certain my own mother tried to do to me. They used the divine and the arcane to do it. When the episode passed they looked around quickly to see if the had been discovered. I had already ducked out of sight and inspected the area. Not many came at sunrise and the little family was safe.

For this one family this appeared to be a wondrous event rather than a cause for death. They appeared to be happy that the boy came into his Power. They left rapidly, gathering their meager belongings.

I pray ORB guides them to safety and keeps the Order of the Sword from them. Some men did come to the rim to try to find them. There were several more people around then but of course no one saw anything. I let them question me. I admitted that I had been at the rim during the sunrise. And I flatly told them no one was there. I told them there had been a flash of light that had left me very dazed. I drug it all out for as long as possible to give the little family as much as lead as possible. I pray they made it away.

Year of the Sun 1274 Chance 1

The searchers returned today. They never found the little family. That makes me very happy. I am glad that some of my kind that can protect themselves. The Order returned to question me a couple of times after that first day but I acted as though my memory was already fading. They became convinced I was a pretty face with no brain. Men are so easy sometimes.

I can rest easier knowing they escaped. I hope they find peace and can grow. Someday maybe I may find that as well. I still hope.

Year of the Sun 1274 Bounty 20

Last night was yet another Harvest Day. Again Darion and I passed it deep in the mountain. The Zoo has officially opened. Sometimes at night I can feel those creatures. Some of them are very powerful. They leave a residue in the ley lines. I’m surprised I notice it. I can’t always feel it but it’s there. They are not natural and unclean magic made them.

Those nights that I feel them I dream. I dream a lot here but the dreams are more vivid when I feel them. I can almost sense a battle close at hand. I know they are locked away but it makes no difference. I wake looking into the dark, searching for an unseen opponent that’s never there.

Year of the Sun 1275 Chance 23

It has been an interesting time here at Mt. Daneasus. Darion is fascinated by all that goes on. We are leaving here tomorrow. I have been called. I couldn’t really stand it much longer anyway. The Power calls to me and I can do very little. And the feeling of those creatures in the Zoo hasn’t gone away. Not to mention the constant tension knowing the paladins and priest are just down the mountain.

I am ready to move on from here. It is past time. Darion has been changing towards me lately. It makes me uncomfortable. I can’t give him what he wants.

Year of the Sun 1275 Fidelity 19

We are headed toward Luminaux. We have one Dwarven child with us. I am to pick up an Elven child near Luminaux. Then we will continue to Hotempa if there is no word of more children.

I think Darion will not be continuing on to Hotempa this time. He has expressed a desire to have children and to be married. I can not do that. He didn’t say he wants those things with me but I know he thinks it. But what we have is not love. It is deep affection but that is not enough.

His human years are advancing. I want him to have love and a family of his own. He would be a wonderful father. I think he will understand. I plan to tell him when we get near Maxaen.