PERSONAL NOTES:Trail of Fears

<accesscontrol>Baelwren</accesscontrol>

Trail of Fears

Year of the Sun 1224 Spindle 25

It’s cold. There is snow on the ground now. I have been walking and riding for months. I never know where I will be sleeping or where the next meal will come from. My keepers take the best care of me that they can. But, if they are caught they will be put to death. The secrets make it hard to find shelter at times. We must stay away from the cities and populated areas, quietly going from farms to monasteries to ruins. It’s a long time between places when the night is this dark and there is nowhere safe.

Year of the Sun 1224 Penitence 20

I have been traveling with the men of the Order of the Holy Compass now for six months. Mostly I have been with monks or men who came from that discipline. They keep a close eye on me. I rarely get time to myself. This is the first chance I have had to write anything in many weeks. They were opposed to me keeping a journal at first. They were afraid of the written record I think. Thankfully, I got a merciful keeper this time and he allowed me to write as long as I found away to come by a journal. I don’t think he thought I could do it. I must seem like a scared child to them, afraid of my own shadow. However, my current lot in life has taught me you cannot let fear rule you. He was very surprised when I turned up with this journal last month. It was the first time I have smiled since I changed. He was so stunned he just took out the quill and ink and handed them over. I’ve kept them since then. He never said he wanted them back. I call him Friend. I never know their names. Not their real ones anyway.

Year of the Sun 1224 Penitence 26

Friend says it shouldn’t be much longer before I get to my new home. We are with a small farmstead at the edge of the desert. I never thought I would come this far south. The Goodwife here is very nice. It is the first female I have been around since this first started. Besides the other children that is.

There are five of us as of today. There were two in my group until we got here. We came in just after dark and there were three children already here. Friend says we start the final part of our journey in a few days. We are to rest and get well fed while we are here. It is strange to be around so many children now. I have been alone with Friend for so long that I almost forgot I have just started my journey on to womanhood and am not yet an adult.

Year of the Sun 1224 Penitence 27

When I woke this morning Friend was gone. Goodwife Whitesand said that there would be a new keeper to take us the rest of the way. I was saddened that I had not been able to say goodbye to Friend. I was with him the longest. Months instead of days or a week. I was hoping he would be taking us the rest of the way. I guess it’s alright though. I don’t think I wanted to share him with the others anyway. He showed me so much. I’ve always been able to meditate in the way of elves, but he taught me something different. Something deeper, more about control. It’s harder to find Samadhi though. I still struggle with it greatly.

Year of the Sun 1224 Penitence 28

We met the new keeper today. It is a woman. We call her Divinity. I think she is related to the Goodwife but I’m not sure how, a daughter maybe? The Goodwife’s husband also returned this morning from somewhere. Goodwife Whitesand said he is to go with Divinity and us to our new homey to help us through the desert.