PERSONAL NOTES:Trail of Fears, Part II

<accesscontrol>Baelwren</accesscontrol>

Trail of Fears, Part II

Year of the Sun 1225 Jewel 3

We have been traveling through the sands for six days. It is a new-year. It feels like it should be more than one new-year since this started. I’m tired. The sands look like they will go one forever. Divinity says it will take weeks to get where we are going. The night before we left Goodwife Whitesand, Divinity said it was possible some of us would not make it through the desert. Some of the children cried. Most took it with a brave face. We all come from completely different lives. I am the only elf.

They all seem overly concerned about me. They don’t think I’ll make the journey. But, I know they are wrong. I want to live. I have to make this right somehow. If I cannot, then they all died for nothing and I deserve to be executed.

Year of the Sun 1225 Jewel 25

It has been many days since last I had an opportunity to write. Divinity doesn’t like it. I think she distrusts me. I think it bother’s her that I am more advanced then the other children. She says I have grown too much. Because I know more of the way of life and because I can read and write as well as I do. She puts me to sleep most nights before I can write. I don’t think she realizes that I am immune to the sleep and am allowing her to do it. I overheard her tell Goodman Whitesand that I am the first elf she has ever escorted across the sands. I was surprised. I would have thought my people would have exhibited power. I will not believe they have all been executed. I can only think there must be many more of these people that help to get us away.

Away to where and to what purpose is the only question. Many fears plague me. Even though Friend told me I was to be taken somewhere safe it is hard to believe. He says I will be trained so I know how to not hurt anyone. It makes me wonder if I am really to be broken so I am easier to execute. I don’t think Friend lied to me on purpose but Divinity makes me wonder.

Year of the Sun 1225 Freedom 6

I noticed supplies are running low. I have been sharing my rations with the little ones. They need the food and water more than I. I am still so tired though. The desert spreads out before me. No end in sight. We have one child I call Little Sister. She is weak. She is the youngest and very little. She is a Halfling. Divinity thinks she will die. I try to prevent that. I think the real problem is Little Sister tries to hard to contain her power. It is using her up because it has no outlet. I hold her close to me at night to keep her fears at bay.

We are supposed to reach an oasis tomorrow. I pray this is so and that the Gods guide us there safely. Little Sister needs rest and nourishment. She has become so frail.

Year of the Sun 1225 Freedom 7

Little Sister made it through the night. I carried her today to the oasis. Goodman Whitesand wanted to do it but I told him she is my responsibility. He seemed as though he would argue with me. But I just looked at him as I stood there holding her close to me. Something in my eyes must have changed his mind.

One of the others passed in the night. He seemed fine last night. I think he died of despair. That must be what they meant when they said we wouldn’t all make it. The things our power did when it manifested are too much for such young minds to withstand. Most of us harmed a loved one when we changed. The boy that passed in the night had killed his younger brother in his change. It seems his parents were the first to want to execute him. Like me, he had run. But, not soon enough. He executed himself in his own mind. I’m surprised he made it this long.

The oasis is beautiful. It has done great things to restore Little Sister. We get to rest here for a day or two. I think we are waiting for something. While we wait I try to help Little Sister to understand what Friend taught me and use Samadhi. I think it will help her.

Year of the Sun 1225 Freedom 9

The last days of our Journey are upon us. We leave the oasis today, replenished. We had been waiting for the final escort. He was a day late it seems. Divinity was very glad to hand us off. I unnerve her. She tried to take my journal once. She said it wasn’t safe. I told her she needs to find a new line of work and that I could more than keep this book safe. She didn’t realize I could use the sword she carried. I didn’t hurt her. But she understands now.

We leave the oasis with only three. One more of the children passed in the night. A girl this time. But not my Little Sister. She will make it there with me. I made her promise to survive.

Our new keeper is a wizened old goat herder. So he says. He seems to be more.

Year of the Sun 1225 Freedom 20

The Herder says this is our last night under open skies. Tomorrow we enter Haven. It is a city in the desert that protects people like us and teaches us. I have to keep its secrets so I cannot write how we are to enter tomorrow. I promised Herder.

Little Sister still thrives. Since Herder came to us all of us seem to have done better. I wish he had come to us sooner. We might have two more children still.